


What remains once the war is won?

by ichabodcranemills



Series: Whumptober 2020 [4]
Category: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Genre: Angst, F/M, Post-Game(s), Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Survivor Guilt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:48:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27226792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ichabodcranemills/pseuds/ichabodcranemills
Summary: Crushed by guilt and grief, the Hero of Hyrule has a hard time adapting to the peaceful times. Victory doesn't taste sweet at all.
Relationships: Link & Zelda (Legend of Zelda), Link/Mipha (Legend of Zelda)
Series: Whumptober 2020 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1973176
Comments: 9
Kudos: 28
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	1. What remains once the war is won?

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: no. 19, survivor's guilt, mourning a loved one

_ What remains once the war is won? Fame. Songs. A kingdom of corpses. His name too heavy in my mouth. _

* * *

Most days, Link wakes up in perfect silence and stillness. He cooks himself breakfast and roams the continent on horseback, helping those in need, or fulfilling tasks that Zelda places upon him. He refuses her invitation to live in the Castle, preferring the humble house he set for himself in Hateno Village. Zelda teases him for his meekness on his refusal to accept any of the honors that, as the saviour of Hyrule, he is entitled to.

At these moments, Links offers her a shy smile and bows his head. Of course, he refuses the honors because he is humble. Mostly, though, he refuses because he could never live in the Castle. Because not every morning is of peace.

As soon as Ganon was defeated, Link’s memories came rushing in. His real memories, not the scarce fragments that haunted him briefly after he awoke from his 100 years slumber. Every smile and ache, every thought and dream.  _ Everything.  _

Zelda teases because she can’t quite meet his eyes ever since she found him, dropped to his knees, in complete disarray. The war won, but at what cost.

So Link stays in his refuge. Hides, lest anyone can hear his screams when he wakes in a cold sweat, crushed by the pain of loss, by the guilt of losing  _ her. _

Because Zelda might say it’s not his fault, and Sidon might still invite him to go back to Zora’s Domain, but Mipha is dead because of him. Because he was too slow, too weak. Because he wasn’t beside her when she needed him.

He doesn’t deserve any honor because he doesn’t even deserve to be alive.

Sometimes, when the pain is too much, he walks to Mount Agaat, the edge of his world. If he would jump from there, there would be no way back. Nothing would be fast enough to catch him. Not even-

He always walks away, though, because what would be the point of that? Kill himself when Mipha and the other champions had given their lives so that Link and Zelda could live. Defeat Ganon. Rebuild the world. That would be a waste of their sacrifices, pettiness too great for Link to bear. So he walks away and gets into stupid fights with armored Lizalfos, and if he’s lucky, he gets himself hurt enough he might see-

_ It’s my pleasure. _

It’s just a shadow. An echo of her. Her  _ grace _ . Not a person. No one to hear back when he tells her what he should’ve said hundreds of times when he still had the chance. 

_ I love you _ , he whispers through broken lips,  _ please forgive me, please, I love you _

Someday, Link dreams, he’ll hurt himself just enough. Enough to drown out the pain. Enough for him to be forgiven.


	2. What do we become in death?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: no.16, hallucinations

_ What do we become in death? Shadows. Longing. Regret, regret, regret. _

* * *

Zelda beckons Link to the Castle and sends him to the Korok Forest with a missive for the Great Deku Tree, diplomatic businesses that he doesn't question. Link takes the papers from Zelda and starts walking away.

"Link, wait."

He turns around at her calling and looks at the princess, expecting further instructions.

"I don't want you to do things for me as an order. Because I'm your sovereign or anything. We're friends."

"I know, Your Majesty."

"That means you can stop calling me that."

He nods, "Alright... Zelda."

"And you can, you know, talk to me. About anything."

He knows he should. He and Zelda are linked by a unique sort of pain. They're the only ones who understand what it is like, but... He can't. She has a kingdom to rule and he has...

"I should leave before it's too dark."

He can see that Zelda would say something else, so he hastes out of the Castle before she has the chance.

Link takes the long way round to get there. Wondering through the Lost Woods as he's done hundreds of times. That's why Zelda send him: he knows the woods better than anyone who's not a Korok. But this time, after wondering for about ten minutes, Link realizes that something is different. He's not where he's supposed to be, and he can't tell when he left the path. The fog is thick with magic he doesn't recognize. He tries to retrace his steps, but stumbles to the forest floor. Unconsciousness hugs him and he can hear a burst of laughter, yet one that is very different from the korok's playful one.

Zelda knows something is wrong before the soldier even enters the throne room.

"It's Link, isn't it?"

The distressed soldier nods.

"Something happened in the Lost Woods, Your Majesty. The hero never made it to the Korok Forest. The Koroks say there is a strange force in the woods, magic unknown to them."

Zelda leaves the Castle as quickly as she can. It's her time to be Link's protector.

Her own magic shields her as she enters the woods. Zelda didn't dare to ask for any guards to follow her, as she isn't sure she'll be able to protect them there. The first thing she notices about the magic is that it is not malevolent. It's certainly stronger than it should be. Not the simple cloaking spell the woods have, that only disorients travelers. The spell here is strong enough to provoke hallucinations. She needs to find the source of this new magic, and stop it. But first, she must find Link.

"Zelda?" 

The princess turns around, relieved. 

"Link, thank the Goddess I found you. We need to leave, there's something wrong with woods."

"You shouldn't be here."

She frowns, "Neither should you. Did you hear what I said? The magic of the woods-"

"It's doing nothing wrong. You should go."

Zelda has never heard Link say so many words at a time. It confirms to her that there isn't just something wrong with the woods, but with him as well.

"I will. Once you come with me." She grabs his hands but he pulls away firmly.

"I'm staying here."

"Link," she asks calmly, scared by the hazy gleam of his eyes "What's going on?"

"I found her," he says with an elated smile.

As if beckoned by his words, a figure appears from the mist. She's smiling joyfully, and it's surrounded by a gentle glow. 

"Link, that's not real," Zelda says, holding his hands with more urgency "It's a trick the fog is playing with your mind."

"Hello, princess. It's so lovely seeing you again." 

Mipha's voice makes Zelda shivers. It's wrong and clipped, just slightly out of tune. Zelda ignores the figure and reinforces her magical protection.

"She's alive, Zelda." Link holds the princess's hand and chuckles.

"Link, listen to me. I know the force in these woods isn't evil. It just wants to give you what you want, but that is a lie. It's not her. And we have to go."

"Go where?" he frowns, a bit more like himself "I have nowhere to go. Outside here, I have nothing."

"You have me!" Zelda pleads. Link shakes his head.

"You have your kingdom. It needs you. You should go."

"The kingdom needs you too."

"I failed them. The champions. But it's all gone now, don't you see?" Link's eyes go blank again, his voice in that weird merry tone "She's alive here. And I can be with her. In the Lost Woods. Forever."

The hallucination Mipha walks by Link's side and touches his shoulder tenderly. It fills him with joy so pure, it breaks Zelda's heart. 

The longer he stays and allows himself to believe the illusion, the more will hurt when it's shattered. And Zelda  _ needs _ to shatter it.

"You didn't fail them. It's not your fault."

"Yes, it is." he sounds peaceful. Resigned.

"Link, if you stay here, you'll do nothing else. You'll stop eating and sleeping, just drown in this fantasy until you die."

He blinks at her as if he couldn't see the problem. "But I'll be with her."

Zelda takes a step back, her mind racing. How can she fix this without hurting Link even more? He, however, seems to have erased her from his thoughts already, focusing only on Mipha. The Zora princess doesn't look solid, but there's a liveliness to her. In Link's mind, Zelda knows, she doesn't look like a ghost. She appears colorful, and warm, and  _ alive.  _ That's the cruelty of such hallucinations.

Zelda tries to trace the source of the treacherous magic. The echo of Link and Mipha's laughter follows her.

She tries not to think about who the forest would conjure to her if she didn't have her protection. 

Zelda walks until she finds the well, the source of the enchanted fog. A tree grows by its side, its roots reach down where the water springs and fuel it with magic. It is one of the several magic trees that grow in the continent, but this one is sick. Zelda kneels by her side and touches it. She can feel its illness, how tired and afraid it is.

_ I just wanted to help,  _ the tree whispers to Zelda,  _ I'm so lonely. So lonely and he was so lonely too.  _

"I know you are. But I'll make you better and the Koroks will come again. And they'll sing and laugh and play in the woods. But you have to let Link go."

_ It will break his heart. _

Zelda nods and wipes the tears streaming down her face. "I know. But it has to be done."

It's another degree of cruelty that Mipha would be so much better at this than her, Zelda thinks. Healing spells. The princess does her best, thinks of all the things she loves as she lets her magic flow.

The effects of it come in waves. A weight lifts from the air, the fog thins and the whole woods feel relieved, as if it had taken a breath after a long time. Soon enough, the tree is healthy again, giving off a content air.

A sadness, however, lingers. Sadness so deep and intense, it tugs Zelda's heart. She walks back to Link.

He's kneeling on the dirt, looking down, but raises his head once she approaches.

Zelda would've preferred if he was in the state she found him at Hyrule Castle, shouting and crying, tugging at his hair. Link is empty, drained of every emotion. His blue eyes are rimmed with red, but that's it. It's like looking at a hollow shell.

"Link, I-, are you-... how are you feeling?

Very slowly, he gets to his feet and gathers his things. He doesn't look at her anymore. 

"We should leave, princess."

She follows him in silence. There really is nothing to be said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was considering that Zelda should be queen, since the King is dead, but I couldn't bring myself to call her the queen in this story. So let's pretend that in Hyrule's monarchy the title 'princess' lingers until... the reigning princess has a daughter who takes it?

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first time writing a Legend of Zelda fanfic (or any videogame fanfic actually), so I hope I did a good job! I am going somewhere with this story, it's not just an excuse to torture poor Link (though I'll still put him through hell some more). If you liked it, comments are always appreciated!


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